The Last Attempt, or the "Letter"


Hey there,
Yes you, the person who has been up all night, watching reruns of Sex and the City and eating Ben and Jerrys… and there you see the infamous emails that Big wrote to Carrie in order to win back her love.  You think to yourself, if only my ex knew how I really felt, then maybe he would change his mind.
Wrong.
Do yourself a favor and close the word document that you have been working on for hours.  Delete the email that you have been carefully written explaining your feelings and read what am I about to tell you.  This is unheard of, but here is a little secret
That little love letter you just wrote will not get them back.  In fact, you are pushing them further away by even doing so.
I mentioned in the posts about no contact that you need to give them space.  However, let’s look at it from their perspective.  
The dumper, which is your evil ex has decided that they do not wish to have any contact with you, and even if you do, the last thing they want to read is some sappy letter from you that is begging for them back.   It is the final straw and the last desperate attempt to get someone’s attention that dumped you.  Now, you could be thinking, what if I treated them poorly, or what if they will never know how I truly feel? 
Trust me, they do. 
Unless you have been out of contact for a year or more , that letter will not work.  A letter should be coming from them, apologizing for dumping you in the first place and not staying around to work out the issues with you that caused the division.  If you have treated them poorly, then words will not show how much you have changed or actually care about them.  Only actions do.  That means getting off the couch and doing something more productive.  This is all about you and what you wish for in life.  Unless they are thousands of miles away (and even so, there are ways to communicate now), they know and see these changes.  Only then will you have the power like you once did to gain their attention.
Want proof that the letter does not work?  I asked 10 people about this very subject and 9 indicated that it would be a complete turn off, in fact it reminded them of being back in high school.  One did just did not care. 
So why should you?

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