Why you shouldn't contact your ex on the Holidays

One of the most common questions asked regarding no contact is whether they should contact their former loved one during the holidays.   It is that time of the year and naturally many people want to give their best wishes to the ones that have value to their lives.   You may be thinking, hey!  I will send out a card or contact my ex to show them how much they mean to me and then they will see how much they miss me!  However, there is a factor that you may be missing in the equation.


They're no longer a part of you life.


Now if you are on good terms with your ex, please ignore what I am about to say.   The point of no contact is removing someone from your life completely.  This means all life events, including Birthdays,  Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Easter, or whatever you choose.   Having the strength to create space between you and your ex is essential and realizing that you can go on without them will help you in the long run.  It will not affect any future attempt at reconciliation, nor will it cause any bad feelings between the past relationship.  You are giving both sides space, and that is crucial.


You may be asking, what if they contact me through text or I get a card?  Then you have two choices, which is to ignore it (after all, you have established no contact) or you can simply respond with a simple gesture of gratitude.   The same goes for any family member of the ex.  Sure you may have been close to his/her mother but they need to let go of you as person as much as you need to move on with your life.  You can be pleasant to them if it is required, but remember it is not mandatory.   


Establishing boundaries while in the no contact period is essential for personal growth.  You can and will make it through the day without even dialing that familiar number and feel empowered that you are creating new memories with those who truly love you rather than looking at the past for happiness.  I will be covering more of the principles of no contact and how it can get your life back every shortly, so please check back for updates!   If you find yourself struggling and need help that day, let me know via email : info@gettheexbacktoday.com.   




PS- A great question was just asked, why does an ex try to contact you during the holidays?  Well it could be out of habit, they feel the need to , nostalgia.  After all you were a part of their lives, but do not see this as more than what it is; a holiday greeting.  If they wish to reconcile, they will find a way outside of a cheezy 80s romantic comedy plot to work on creating new memories with you.  Don't read into anymore than it is.  It's a greeting of well wishes and if inclined you may do the same.  If you never want to talk to them again well that's another issue.  Just don't do anything that you will regret later.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

When the ex is playing you

I’m sure a lot of you have subscribed to many get back your ex blogs and websites, and you probably get the same emails: How to get your ex back in 5 steps What to do when he/she is calling you What happens when they ignore you? And finally… what to do if they are seeing someone else. I actually got an email yesterday from one of the programs talking about what to do when someone plays with you.  It goes like this: “Do you have an ex that is playing games with you?  One that confuses the heck out of you”? Well if they are calling you to talk about nothing, initiates contact but then ignores you and gives you little hints to keep you around… it is not that they are testing you to see how you react. Or that they don’t know what they want. It’s that they are playing with you because they know that you are still around to gain a reaction from . Look, it is immature and selfish, but have you ever done that to someone else? You kept them around to check out the ...
Read more

It's Official, Most Men are Pansies

It's Official, Most Men are Pansies by Charles Tant, Republished with Permission http://www.charlestant.com Hi Everyone,    I may as well tell you up front that this may not seem to have anything to do with marketing...well, not in a way that would be obvious. This may require you to think a little to see the...  Oh nevermind all that. Let's just get into it. If you get it, you get it. If you don't, you don't.   I needed a new propane tank for my flame thrower, so I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to get one. Hey, don't judge. I have a right to own a flame thrower, just like you do. Hmm, should I get a concealed weapons permit for my flame thrower?  Nah, I'll pass.   Anyway, I went in the store, picked out the things I needed and headed to the check out at the lawn and garden department. I'm standing in line when the cashier, a young black girl, saw me. She smiled and said, "Hi!" The way she said it, it was as if she knew me and wa...
Read more

Take a Step Back to Save your Relationship

Never one to not follow my own advice, I realized a missing piece to the actual strategy on how to get your ex back (and that's why you are here) In order to move forward, you need to step back. If your relationship is not working out the way you had planned, or if it had already ended, have heart.  You need to rediscover yourself before recommitting yourself to someone. When break ups happen, there is usually one person who wants to put things back together again.  If the other party is not ready for this, then there is not much you can do about it.  This means Stop calling them, emailing, texting or even working on the friends angle.  It doesn't work.  If your partner or ex wants time apart, do so.  Pushing yourself onto them will drive them further away T rust me, I am following the same rules as you and I have broken them only to have bad results.   But I can tell you this: By stepping back and re-assessing the relationship that once was,...
Read more